this used to be now that is. That which follows this is from over a month ago plus a week, so tell me now how you think I may be doing ... I feel scattered still without focus. or maybe it is to many ideas to be dealing with at one time. When is it a good time to simply throw your hands up and demand help in a matter(s). What makes one thing more important than the other(s)? For example; when I amfinishing a project, but can't because lack of proper material okay this one I understand, but the one I have an issue with is when you have to do some stuff, just to have this thing, in order to use that, so one project is closer to being done. Why must it be a never ending cycle , when am I going to finish something, anything for that matter ? and asWalter C. would say "...the rest of the story." xXx why is it that my mind is scattered and frayed, how many others have this dis ease ? I know I can do this, I've done it before, yet something keeps me from going for the door. Something happened or maybe snapped to cause this dilemma that I just cannot stand. How is it that when two or more people occupy a space one of them need to interact, letting sound out the mouth. This is very disturbing and hard to ignore, what was I doing , how long has it been? When told to don't dare distract me, it slips past the attention of every one of them(s). How many times am I going to sit and sigh, will I ever just get it, will I ever get the bigger picture done ? Will I ever get just one path to follow.. instead my fingers don't have a chance with all my random thoughts. At last all to my self huh and I still can't think straight . Okay that didn't last. Anyway, here it is, my given name is Trudy, not Gertrude, but Trudy. I'm a Gemini to the fullest split there is. I've been told that I could hide my own easter eggs and have trouble finding them, and once an employer told me that the handicap were fun to watch and that was why I still had a job, (how's that for ****** up?). When I was born and before my mom first seen me, she thought I was twin boys. Maybe that is when the confusion set in ... again. Yes I admit I am in need of some help, would someone, could anyone please help organize me? Feel free to read my mind and see if you are able to tell me what I think. Oh and speaking of my birthday, it is already here again, yes be blessed, approximately at two: seventeen in the afternoon.on 6-9 of 1965 I took my first breath, you do the math. My mom told me that once, 'you do the math' only in past tense, but she was referring to months not years. That's another day confusion crashed and set in .. at the age of 33 I was informed that the mans name on my birth certificate was not my father but that I was a true love child, yet she didn't know if his name was with an e or an o. Question is why she waited so long before letting me in on her secret, now what was the point of this deception ? I will never know. I'll never be sure if leaving well enough alone is smarter but what if there are medical issues I should be aware of, or if he is wealthy and will he give some of his money to me ?. So you see only a small corner of the confusion set deep with in my thinking. Thank you God for all of this madness.
Lord and Lady, please hear my cry and answer my plea, let the path you have created for me to take, be well marked and wide so I don't get lost in my mistakes. Maythe colors I play with always be true and only run rich. -so mote it be -